"Opening Spam" by Rev. Barbara Merritt

Memos from Rev. Barbara Merritt and Rev. Tom Schade Firstumemo at firstunitarian.com
Tue Nov 21 14:00:24 CST 2006


M I N I S T E R’ S   M E M O

“Opening Spam”

No matter how many filters our church programmer/server employs, no matter
how many filters I create on my own computer, no matter how carefully I
screen my incoming e-mail messages, every day I find myself inadvertently
opening some UCE (unsolicited commercial e-mail.) Called by the acronym
spam, the name actually refers to the Army issue luncheon meat. A sketch in
the British comedy Monty Python series had all the patrons at a restaurant
shouting for Spam . . . and thus evolved the idea of flooding the market
with stuff you don’t want. A more popular understanding states that the
letters of spam stand for Stupid, Pointless, Annoying, Messages. All I know
is that every time I open one and find an unwanted solicitation, I hear a
little voice saying “gotcha.”
It is a simple enough task to send such messages to the trash. But so much
of it goes through the system, that lately I have started paying attention
to what incoming messages are able to fool me, intrigue me and
unfortunately, entrap me into wasting my time by opening them up.
In the Hindu tradition, sinfulness and error is placed in five categories:
lust, anger, greed, attachment and ego. Much like Dante’s circles of hell,
or Catholicism’s seven deadly sins, the purpose of any categorization of how
we human beings get lost or distracted is to turn us in more productive
directions. What I find fascinating is how easy it is to place almost all my
Spam messages in the five Hindu classifications.
Lust? Welcome to the world of pharmaceuticals, and pornographic sites, and
strangers who want you to visit their chat room. I become very annoyed with
myself when a message asks, “Can you help me?” and then my mind is subjected
to a brief, but still very sad and desperate pitch from someone in the
commercial sex trade. Anger? There are political tirades from both sides of
the aisle. Both the right and the left are assuming that outrage and money
are the best ways to change the political process. Greed? From Nigeria and
dozens of other countries, all are asking me as “a good Christian clergy
person” to help them transfer millions of dollars. Attachment? Attachment in
Hinduism is defined as excessive selfishness and a desire to be in control
and to possess. The spam that tells me that I have ordered something I didn’
t order, or that my credit card account has been used for an unauthorized
purchase play on my fear. The chain letters that are sent to me use a carrot
as well as a stick. If I will only forward the message to ten friends I will
be blessed, wealthy, have unlimited good luck and will be healed of all
illness. If on the other hand I don’t forward the message, there will be
hell to pay. Ego? Here’s the one I fall for constantly. If the message says
“Thank you,” I want to know who is grateful. If the message line says “Good
Job,” I want to know who’s noticed. I have opened “in appreciation” and
“eloquent words” and “question?” all with the expectation of a genuine
communication. None of them were. This week, in my inbox, I succumbed to
opening messages entitled “Dante”, “mistake. . .”, “Thanks for your support”
, “Question” and “Being of Service.” Gotcha! They were all trying to get me
to buy something I didn’t want. And the spammer’s knowledge of human frailty
gets past all my filters. If you currently get e-mail, spam is pretty much a
given.
As we approach the holiday season, there is another “given.” There is real
nourishment. You can participate in life giving interactions. And there are
endless opportunities for us to be generous with one another. You’ll have to
find a diet that works for you, but mine would include the following:
*Spiritual practice. Find the meditation, the prayer, the reflections, the
disciplined exercises that allow you to listen, to pay attention and to be a
part of something larger than you understand.
*Worship. Be in the communities that speak to your better nature, that
return you to your focus, that remind you of what you know is true, but
which you continually forget.
*Physical labor and exercise. Especially as winter approaches, your physical
body needs work and attention and care. Do it!
*Family and friends. Find the people who make you laugh, who help you relax,
who know your faults and love you anyway. Time spent in good company can
restore your soul.
*Beauty in nature (even in November and December) and at the art museum and
in music. (Sometimes the best moment in my week is when our choir sings an
especially glorious anthem.) Appreciating what is harmonious makes it easier
to get through all that is not.
We can wish for a spam-free holiday, but we won’t get it. This is a
complicated creation of good and bad, real communication and calculated
disinformation, sincerity and cynical manipulation. But in the midst of it
all, may you hear the messages that love keeps sending. “You are a beloved
child of God.”
                                    Barbara

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