"Men and Shoes" by Rev. Thomas Schade

Tue Oct 23 14:16:49 EDT 2007

M I N I S T E R‘S   M E M O

“Men and Shoes”

A friend of mine knows that I like shoes; she also works for a shoe company
so she wrangled an invitation for me to participate in a focus group about
men and shoes. The only real requirement was that I, as a prospective member
of the focus group, wore and liked dress shoes. And since I well exceeded
even that minimal requirement, I joined about 20 other men for a stimulating
evening of simulated shoe shopping and shoe shoptalk.

I should stop and say at this point that I not only like shoes, I like shoes
a lot. I am kind of crazy about them.

Why? Well, I could tell you the heart-rending story of my childhood. I have
flat feet and a left ankle like no other; it is either a throwback to
earlier stages of humanity or a mutation indicating the future of the human
race when no one will walk anymore. Whatever. In my childhood, because of my
unusual feet, I had to HAVE corrective orthopedic shoes. Corrective shoes
came in all shades of black, weighed five pounds per foot and had to be
laced up very tightly. The foot doctor informed my parents, that I was to
wear these orthopedic shoes EVERY TIME I took so much as a single step. You
see, getting up in the middle of the night and walking to the bathroom
without these 10 pounds of foot shaping leather on my feet would undo all of
the benefits of my faithful trudging about like Frankenstein in my
orthopedic corrective shoes. Looking back, I suspect that they were telling
my parents that any free spirited barefoot bathroom jaunts would void the
warranty on my shoes.

Plus, the shoes were ugly and had no style. How I yearned for a pair of
penny loafers. How I harbored lust in my heart for tennis shoes and
high-topped sneakers. How I coveted sandals. The worst was when the Pied
Piper came over from Hamlin and played a tune on his flute and all the kids
in my neighborhood followed him off to Candy Mountain, and just the little
lame boy with his crutches and me, with my enormous and gargantuan shoes
could not keep up with him and were left behind. Ok, I exaggerate, but it
could have happened.

Such memories of childhood trauma only explain, but do not excuse.

So, now I like shoes. Once I stopped wearing corrective shoes, I realized
that I could buy any and every kind of shoe, in any color I wanted, and am
working on that goal. So, I was glad to be in a focus group to talk about
shoes.

The representatives of the shoe company greeted us, fed us pizza and plied
us with soft drinks and then turned us loose to browse through 100 different
pairs of numbered shoes. We indicated on scoring sheets which ones we liked,
which ones we hated, which ones we would pick up in a department store and
try on, and which ones we would ignore.

At this point, I came to a realization that many men have already reached;
most men's shoes look pretty much the same. There are black ones, and brown
ones, and casual ones and dressy ones, and ones that lace up and others that
are loafers.

But that is not really true. After all, I was seeing many differences in the
shoes before me, and some I liked more than others. But when I tried to
explain why, I really couldn't, except to point at one little feature and
say, "That's cool" or "I think that looks dorky." So, the guys from the shoe
company would explain what that little feature was called, and how it could
be done in different ways, or with a different style. The more he would
explain about shoes, the more opinions the guys would have about the shoes.
We knew what we liked and didn't like, but we didn't have the vocabulary to
communicate it to others. The conversation grew more and more animated and
the men grew bolder about their opinions.

All in all, I had a great time at the shoe focus group. Yes, the pizza was
good, the soft drinks were cold and fizzy, and we did each get a free pair
of shoes. But I would not have come if it had been presented to me as an
educational session in which I would learn the technical names for the parts
of the shoe. Even with a free pair of shoes. But learning that vocabulary
was an essential part of the experience.

Now, of course, this winding path of shoe stories leads back to church and
religion. I make it a point to try to talk to people when they are first
visiting our church and attending our services for the first few times. And
generally, I can tell whether people found the experience inspiring, or
useful, or enjoyable. But people find it hard to explain what they liked and
what they didn't like. They lack the vocabulary to talk about it, just as I
found it hard to talk about shoes not knowing the difference between a
cap-toe, an oxford, a brogue and a blucher.

Worship is the experience of one's spirituality in the context of a
community's ritual. It is like wearing shoes. Theology is the language, the
vocabulary, that is used to talk about spirituality and worship. It is not
necessary to know the language of theology to be inspired by worship, but it
helps. The more we know, the more we can make distinctions between this
lesson and that insight and learn how to explain our own experience to
ourselves and others.

It's like baseball. I still love the game, but I think one of these years, I
need to know what they mean when they talk about a "fielder's choice, a
sacrifice fly, and a squeeze play." I think I will get more out of the
experience.

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