"Ashamed, But Never Too Old to Learn the Truth" by Peter Levine, MD

Tue Apr 15 15:10:47 EDT 2008

G U E S T   M E M O

“Ashamed, But Never Too Old to Learn the Truth”

     When I was very young I knew (and sometimes told) some “funny” jokes
about gay people, as did many members of my generation in those days. Then
came my training as a hematologist and my years in practice.

When you deliver care to people with life-threatening diseases, you get to
know them well on a very personal level. I was amazed by: 1) the sheer
number of gay people in my patient panel first in Boston and then in
Worcester, 2) the fact that most of them were not “out”, 3) the poignant
stories of discrimination and abuse, 4) the extraordinary isolation they had
endured, and 5) the powerful role that organized religion often played in
sustaining the myth that being gay is a choice, and worse, an evil choice.

In the last 20 years or so we have made some important strides in
eliminating discrimination against people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or
transgendered, but much remains to be done. For example, one of the two
leading causes of death for American men and women aged 16 to 24 is suicide,
and about half of these suicides are now believed to be because of the
guilt, shame and depression that may inappropriately go with discovering
that they are indeed gay.

On a local level we know that in our city and its suburbs a teen is often
literally thrown out of his or her home when he or she attempts to come out
(or is inadvertently found out) by their parents. This happens with a
frequency that averages just over once a week. And that number may well be
an underestimate, as it reflects only the frequency of local agencies being
asked to help.

This year the Greater Worcester Community Foundation has taken on the
challenge of helping meet the many needs of this population that haven’t
been addressed elsewhere. Is there also a need for the First Unitarian
Church to play a larger role in support of our own congregation, or of our
larger community?

Last fall a group began to meet informally to consider this issue. This
diverse group of 15 members of our church, dubbed the “Welcoming
Congregation ad hoc Study Group,” met on 7 occasions. The group has agreed
to proceed to form a Welcoming Congregation Committee to see what additional
steps we might take to formally meet the criteria of becoming UUA certified
(a fairly flexible process). We believe that by doing so our congregation
can more effectively play its small part in working on the unmet needs of
members of our congregation and our community . Here is the Mission and
Vision Statement for the Welcoming Congregation Committee, which the ad hoc
group has produced:

Vision Statement

A group of committed and diverse individuals from this congregation is
spearheading the effort to facilitate the process of moving the congregation
toward declaring itself a Welcoming Congregation, as well as pursuing that
official recognition by the UUA. The ultimate purpose is an effort to ensure
that persons who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or who are
questioning – as well as their loved ones – receive access to the guidance,
resources, and congregational experiences they seek to support them on their
own personal journey toward fulfillment of their own spirituality, as they
understand it.

Mission Statement

In the spirit of reaching out to all persons in the community, we avow to be
a welcoming congregation – one that seeks to include and engage individuals
who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or who are questioning,
as well as their loved ones.

As a first step, the Welcoming Congregation Committee will design and carry
out a survey of our entire congregation in order to understand your views on
this complex issue.

The good news: we are indeed quite “welcoming” as a congregation, and we do
meet many of the criteria suggested by the UUA in its very thoughtful
documents on this subject. But we believe we can and should do even better
in some key areas.

We invite anyone from the congregation to join the new Welcoming
Congregation Committee. If you have an interest in participating, or if you
have questions about the process, please contact me at plevinemd at aol.com, or
see me at church. We plan to have one or two meetings of the new committee
this spring, will then adjourn for the summer months, and will resume our
work in the fall.

As you may have guessed, as a result of what many of my patients taught me,
I don’t tell gay jokes any more, and I am very ashamed that I once did. My
thanks to the members of the ad hoc group for their constructive work to
date, and we look forward to further discussions with the congregation on
this important issue.

Peter H. Levine, MD

Committee Chair

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